Going to a small, private high school, I tended to be known as smart and somewhat quiet. It often upset me that this tended to lead to preconceived notions about who I was as a person and how I would act/react to things.
We all care about what others’ think of us, to some extent, but what about the preconceived notions we carry about ourselves?
Lately, I’ve come to challenge some of these thoughts.
It started with my wisdom tooth extraction. Needing only advil (and only on a daily basis), and having minimal pain and no swelling challenged my belief that I don’t heal well. My immune system took this procedure in stride and with great results. After a lifetime of allergies and arthritis (both of which affect the immune system) and somewhat frequent illnesses (including potential mono this past year and swine flu the year before), I just had come to accept that I have a weak immune system and don’t recover from things easily. Thus, I should be careful with myself.
Now, while I’ll still take my vitamins and try to be healthy and active, I can’t tell myself I don’t heal well anymore. I am challenging this fundamental belief about me.
There’s been others too. Beliefs about friendships and relationships. Beliefs about my future. My intelligence and creativity. Beliefs about who I am. Central beliefs that form Me.
Maybe this caterpillar is starting to see the Color to come. Maybe we need to test ourselves every once in a while, or the transition won’t matter. Not noticing we’ve sprouted wings, we just keep crawling. Maybe every once in a while, we need to see ourselves through Someone else’s eyes.
Shout out to fellow blogger: http://thiswonderfulordeal.blogspot.com/2011/04/less-than-one.html?spref=fb. This very cool guy co-pastored my church for a while. Deep thoughts. Check him out.