Tag Archives: twenty-somethings

Updating

I’m not feeling so good today, so to be productive, I decided to update my address book.  I’m sending belated Christmas cards to a few people, and decided it was a good time to do it– before I send.  Lest I immediately lose the addresses.  

At my age (mid-twenties), updating my address book is like updating my life.  

Today I:

Separated out businesses/school contacts and doctors/medical contacts into their own lists.
Separated out exes and school acquaintances I rarely speak to into their own list.
Added new grad school friends
Updated addresses and phone numbers for old friends
Changed last names, added spouses and children’s names

These last two were the big ones.  So many of my friends have– over the past two years– gotten married, moved in with a significant other, had a child (or two), moved into a new apartment, bought a house, etc.  It’s staggering.  I go through the M’s… the S’s… and as I update, my friends move across the page– to the H’s, the G’s.  A second line lists their children.  I have my own apartment.  People are or will be doing this with me, too, I’m sure.  But it’s amazing to me.  Updating an address book shouldn’t feel this emotional.  But, when did we all grow up?

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The Twenties

After a very busy couple of weeks, I found myself at I-CON this past weekend.  I had an amazing time and got the chance to sit in on some amazing discussions, which I’ll talk about in another post soon.  But I also got to do a lot of thinking.

I realized that over the past couple years, I’ve given a lot of thought to how I will live.  Each of us is raised under some kind of tradition, and when we grow up, we need to decide which traditions we will continue and which we’ll leave behind.  We also choose what we’ll start that’s new.

I thought about how I’ve pictured my life a couple of different ways.  And realized that, sometimes, these different possibilities I’ve envisioned have resulted from the people in my life at the times.  Particularly, the guys in my life at the time.

I’ve pictured my life as a teacher of some sort (probably a professor) with a beach house where my kids grow up always by the water.  I’ve pictured my life as a professor-researcher-artist who brings her kids to the city on weekends for family dance classes.  I realize I’ve used these pictures to explore different parts of myself– different versions of the future I can create– the options I have to choose from.

I thought about how, in your teens, you decide you you are.  You experiment, and maybe rebel.  You find your friends and explore what you like and don’t like.  You pursue hobbies.  You pick a college, and a major.

In your twenties, you decide how you will live.  Maybe this is somewhat obvious.  You find a job.  You decide where you’ll live (at least semi-permanently).  You start thinking more seriously about getting married and having kids– and who you might want to do that with.

In your twenties, you use the knowledge of who you are (that you discovered as a teen), to decide what’s next.

I’m almost half-way through this process, and have only just become conscious of it.  More decisions to come.

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